My Father always takes care of me.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed.  We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.  We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God.  We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.  Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.  
2 Corinthians 4: 8-10

 In August 2004 my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, in January of 2005 the cancer went into remission.  Spring of 2009 the cancer returned in her bones, making my mom's cancer terminal. It would be nice to say that today my mom is cancer free by some awesome miracle, but I can't. My mom's cancer has slowly progressed the past two years and now seems to be taking a turn for the worse.  She is still fighting, but the cancer has caused her excruciating pain.  In the past six months she has been put on hospice and is now using oxygen. 
The other morning when I read 2 Corinthians chapter 4 in my quiet time, I began to think of my family's journey these past seven years.  Spring of my Junior year of high school when my mom's cancer returned I went through a phase where I blamed God, I asked "why, why me, why my family?"  I slowly left that phase as I gained some understanding of God's word.  My senior year of high school I fully gave my life to Christ and decided to really live for him. I am now going to be a sophomore in College and it's taken me this long to understand why God would allow for my mom to have a disease that is killing her.
Last summer I began to read the book Shattered Dreams by Larry Crab.  I stopped reading it half way through and picked it back up this summer.  The words on the cover read "God's unexpected pathway to Joy."  The book talks about how God will allow our dreams to shatter, to crumble, to be demolished right in front of our eyes so that we will then discover a deeper dream we possess, a desire to know Him more.  Through reading this book and digging deeper into God's word then ever before, I have began to understand the reasoning behind my mom's cancer, God is using her cancer to glorify him.  
Through this journey I have grown closer to God, I have fully trusted him with my life and everything in it.  Yes there "dreams" I had in my life that probably won't happen now such as:  sending my kids to Mimi's house so she can spoil them (like all grandma's do) or introducing my future wife to my mom for the very first time, or it can simply be that when I look at my youngest brother who is thirteen I realize that our mom won't get to see him graduate high school. These are things I think about daily, but I don't want you guys to read this and feel sorry for my family, I want you guys to know that God has never left me through this, He has been by my side the whole time, there are times he has even carried me and will carry me in the future.  Although He may take my mom home soon, my Lord NEVER leaves me behind, with Him I can stand strong and fight off Satan's attacks.
My Father always takes care of me, no matter what. 

Art is one of my passions, I love to draw and paint. Through this whole experience came the inspiration for this piece.  When everything around you falls and is destroyed our job is to look beneath the rubble and discover our deepest desire that's breaking through, which is to strive to know God more.